To be short, there is always a rhyme, a reason, but To be fair the mind commits treason To the heart. On the same side, fighting the same battles. Yet a battle wages deeper in the soul. To scream out against the heart, is to betray the mind, but not to listen to the mind is death to the heart.
The smile plastered on your face, has me pondering so many thoughts. The peril of my mind turns to a chaotic usurping of power between The heart and the mind. Each deity of my brain begins to tug and pull at the stings of my being. Breaking down my mental state day by day. I search your smile, testing the validity of the postered happiness. It stings in my heart, leaving a trail of doubt every step of the way. Were you ever that happy or is that smile always fake?
Tonight, when emotions ran high, my mind did wander
To how simple it would be, to just give up and to just quit.
The constant nagging of the every day pressures of life
Weighing down on me, dragging me under,
Quietly suffocating every attempt to scream.
Longing the for the time
When this separation can be behind us.
Tonight, when emotion ran high, my mind did wander,
To how I won’t quit
To how I won’t give up on…
There are few oddities in the world people don’t get to experience. Lightning striking twice in the same place. A storm destroying everything in its path, but one house. Hit the jackpot twice in one lifetime. Finding true Love. I was fortunate enough to find mine. We didn’t finish sentences we finished thoughts. The way her smooth hands cupped my face and gently placed a kiss of deep love upon my forehead, would melt the coldest of hearts. True love comes once in a lifetime. You were one of a kind.
“The relationship never started out healthy.”
As i read these words, the disgust builds up in my chest, a cancer eating away at my soul. Crushed by the complexity of the circumstances, not knowing whether the truth exists, or is it just a lie? My emotions begin to rage like the wind against a Flag. I scream, or so I thought. My thoughts silently sulk deep within the dreary abyss that laid waste to the wreckage of my emotional fortitude. Darkness inhabits the environment around me. I fight for a breath of air, and as I slip away into the Void, I awake, forced to live in this nightmare. Forced to trek this journey alone. There is no truth in those words.
The Truth is what you Believe.
How is it someone can give you so much time and effort of their life, let you into their mind, all their thoughts, their dreams, their desires, their fears and become emotionally and physically connected to you. Then without hesitation, drop you from their life. How do I cope with that? How do I understand if it’s truly over? How can you expect me to stop caring, worrying and loving you?
I’ve come to terms that just because the current state of a situation is unsettling to me, does not mean, that will be the lasting state of the situation. I push you like I’m fighting against the raging waves of the ocean. You do the same thing as the ocean, you push back, leaving me drowning under the unknowns of this situation. All I ask of you is one simple thing.